The Beauty of True Friendship

True, virtuous friendship is beautiful... and absolutely necessary- or life lessons from Tales of the Jedi

I am a big Star Wars fan and have been ever since middle school. While, I know this doesn't seem to have much to do with friendship, hang with me, I'll get there. My brother and I watched the new Tales of the Jedi mini series on Disney plus, and it was so good! The thing that stuck with me though was how tragic Count Dooku's story is, how different the whole story of the Star Wars universe could have been if he had made different choices.

A true friend is a friend who desires what is good for you and sees your potential even when you mess up. A true friend isn't afraid to hold you accountable for your mistakes and wants to help you be a better person. A true friend loves you no matter what. A true friendship is when those desires are mutual. This sort of relationship is integral to human flourishing because true friendships help us to see ourselves in an authentic light, pushes us to practice virtue, and teaches us how to truly love another person, to step outside of ourselves. All of these are the basic building blocks for a happy and fulfilling life.

Bad friends on the other hand, do just the opposite. They do not push you to pursue virtue. They don't care about you for who you are. Their love may be conditional. They don't hold us accountable for our mistakes. Bad friends don't care about whether or not we flourish. They are only out to please themselves.

Having recently read about this distinction, I was pleasantly surprised to find an example of it when watching Tales of the Jedi, episode 4, The Sith Lord. For those of you who haven't yet seen it, this episode takes place concurrently with The Phantom Menace, except you see what Count Dooku (who started out as a Jedi, but left the order to lead the Separatists who fought the Galactic Republic and eventually became a Sith lord himself) was doing during that time. The whole series fills in gaps in certain characters' backstories one of which is Dooku.

In previous episodes, you begin to get a sense of why he decided to leave the Jedi. He has numerous experiences where he sees injustices done by the corrupt Galactic Senate and the people see the Jedi as puppets of these corrupt politicians. Dooku does not like this and wants (rightly, I may add) for things to change. However, he doesn't exactly choose to go about this change in the right way. By the time we meet Dooku in this episode, he is completely disillusioned with the Jedi and has begun working for someone he believes will bring about the changes he wants to see.

The person he falls in with is none other than the Sith Lord Darth Sidious. After Sidious' apprentice Darth Maul kills Qui-Gon Jin, the Jedi Dooku trained, Dooku begins to have doubts about the path he has chosen. He begins to see the tragic consequences of his actions and wonders how much death and suffering he has caused. Sidious responds by questioning Dooku's loyalty.

Little do both of them know, though that Dooku was followed. Someone realized something was off with him and decided to follow him to this secret meeting. Yadle, who is a Jedi master of the same species as Yoda, was concerned for Dooku when he refused to go to Qui-Gon's funeral. She followed him and overheard most of his conversation with Sidious. (Honestly, also a fabulous use of the feminine genius, but that could be a whole other post in and of itself.) Yadle then reveals herself and pleads with Dooku to come back with her and to turn Sidious in. She tells him they can put things right the right way. (I also love what they did with the lighting in this scene- Sidious is standing in shadow while Yadle is standing in the light with Dooku half in and half out of both the light and the shadow.)

Screenshot of the great lighting! Watch Tales of the Jedi on Disney plus!

Dooku, however feels that he is too far gone to be redeemed and is unwilling to see himself as Yadle sees him, as someone who longs for justice, but has simply gone about it the wrong way. Dooku chooses to believe the lie that since he can never undo the wrong he has done, he cannot be redeemed so he may as well finish what he started. So, at Sidious' insistence, he attacks Yadle and a lightsaber fight enuses.

Yadle does everything a good friend ought to do. She shows concern for Dooku by following him. She promises to help him to right the wrongs he has done. She looks past his faults and sees him for who he is and cares for him anyway. She affirms him for seeing the injustices that are being done and wanting to do something about it. She apologizes for not listening sooner. She calls him out on his bad decision, telling him that he has "run into the arms of evil". And ultimately, she gives her life trying to save his.

Sidious on the other hand, does everything a bad friend does. He goads Dooku into murder. Eventually, Sidious will goad Anakin Skywalker into murdering Dooku in Revenge of the Sith. Sidious simply uses Dooku as part of his plan to grab power for himself. He doesn't actually care about Dooku or Dooku's desire for justice and reform. Sidious is only out for himself.

Dooku's story is tragic in the fullest sense of the word. He rejects the friendship Yadle offers him and consequently rejects what is good for him, instead, choosing to follow a path that leaves him miserable and friendless, and finally, ordered to be killed by the one person he thought would stand by him, as if he could simply be disposed of once he was no longer a necessary part of Sidious' plan. It's tragic and though he is a scary bad guy, it made my heart hurt to know that he could have spared himself and many others so much pain and suffering if he had chosen to accept the true friendship offered to him.

Is not this though the same choice every single one of us is offered? Jesus offers us this same friendship, loving us despite our faults and failings, seeing us for what we can be, calling us out on our bad choices, encouraging us to make good choices, and giving up His very life on the cross that we might have the strength to follow Him. Jesus offers us eternal life, eternal friendship with Him by virtue of His resurrection. While we certainly do not deserve this great gift, He offers it freely to us because He loves us.

"This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father." -John 15:13-15

Jesus has called us His friends and He has proved Himself to be our best and truest friend. The greatest tragedy of life would be to reject His friendship and so die alone, miserable, used, and painfully conscious of all the suffering our choices have caused. That is not the life He desires for us. He desires for us to be with Him forever, in eternal joy and fellowship, fully seen, fully known, and fully loved. He desires our lives, even here and now, to be full and abundant and to bear every good fruit. Those are the desires of a true friend. That too, is why friendship itself is so beautiful, because every true and virtuous friendship is a reflection of the friendship the Lord desires to have with us. Every human love is a pale reflection of His love for us and anyway we participate in that is going to bring us fullness and happiness because it is what we were made for.